I get by with a little help from my friends….

Contract

Five and a half years ago– July 2007 — I sat at brunch with three close friends — Darla, Steve and Nancy —  spilling my soul about my desire to be a professional writer.

I had opened my company, Murphy Media Services, just two years earlier after my secure government job, with all its benefits, perks, raises and a corner office, ended abruptly. I decided to start my own company doing what I had done for nearly 30 years – public relations.

So, at brunch, between bites of eggs benedict and sips of mimosas, I explained how fidgety I was feeling lately. How somewhere, deep down, I knew I should be doing more, something different. Sure, I enjoyed my PR work, but my true passion in life – the thing that made my heart soar — was writing, and I wanted to somehow create a reality where I could earn a living being a full time writer.

You see, I knew wasn’t alone. I learned that morning at brunch that I had at least four people who believed in me…

No one at that table scoffed at me. They knew me well enough. They had heard me many times before wistfully wondering what it would be like to write full time for a living. But, like so many people, I had always taken the practical (and income-earning) path of doing what I had always done – PR. I was good at it, it was comfortable, it didn’t require change or risk. It was safe.

Darla, being the most practical and detailed person at the table, looked me in the eye and said, “Patti, if you want to be a writer, you will do it.” She then took an envelope out of her purse and placed it on the table.

Over the next hour, my friends encouraged me to talk about my dreams and what I wanted to do. Then Darla began to write on the envelope.

It was a contract. Continue Reading…

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Forget the Regret!

 

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“Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies. “ ~ Ann Landers

This past year I read a very touching news story about the biggest life regrets expressed by people who are close to dying. The top five were:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I imagine that being at the end of life and carrying disappointments that cannot be fixed would be sad and unnerving. All of us can relate to moments when we wish there could be a Do-Over or a backspace button that would fix all life’s glitches. I remember thinking precisely that when I lost my dad last year and how I wished we could just do it all over again with a different outcome. 

“Man, like a bridge was designed to carry the  load of the moment, not the combined load of a year all at once.”

Regret, guilt and woulda-coulda-shoulda thoughts are what we humans do so well. “I wish I had worked harder and then I wouldn’t have lost my job,” or “If I had invested in different stocks I would’ve made more money,” and on and on. Regretful thinking keeps us focused on things that can’t be undone. These thoughts weigh on us, they make us live in the past….a past that is over, history.

Ralph Waldo Emerson described it simply and eloquently when he wrote, “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall  begin it serenely and with too high  a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” Continue Reading…

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Just be who you are!

 

 

Back in 2007, the New York Times hired me as a freelance writer to cover the resignation of staunch Republican Idaho senator Larry Craig, who had been arrested in a Minnesota men’s room after the undercover cop in the next stall accused Craig of soliciting sex.

It was a whirlwind week in Boise as people speculated, “did he or didn’t he?” My assignment was to cover his press conferences and work with NYT photographer emeritus Paul Hosefros to conduct man-on-the-street interviews to get citizen reaction to the news.

Who cares if you’re gay? Come on out! Come on out of the closet and just be who ya’ are!

It was an amazing and humbling moment when I received the phone call from the NYT asking if I would be willing to cover a press conference for them. Would I be willing? Heck yeah! It was the Times. For a writer, getting a call from them is sort of like unexpected manna from heaven.

But, this is not about getting the assignment. Rather, it’s about a simple little message from an unlikely source that has stuck with me ever since that day and continues to pop up everywhere, like little words of wisdom from the universe.

What was the message?

So, there we were, a throng of reporters, camera people, freelancers – hundreds of us huddled together in an outdoor plaza, listening, taking notes, and snapping photos of Idaho’s senior senator as he stood at a podium next to his wife and emphasized, “I am not gay. I have never been gay.” Continue Reading…

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Fulfilling a wish and a goal

 

A couple of years ago when I started working on my first book, “Mother Knows Best – Wit and Wisdom from Idaho Moms,” one of my main goals was to be able to donate a portion of the proceeds from the sale of the book to charity. I remember waking up in the middle of the night with that thought in my head, clear as a bell, and the name of the charity was right there — Women’s and Children’s Alliance of Boise.  WCA provides services to women, men and their children who are escaping domestic abuse and sexual assault.

I was so fortunate to find my publisher, Elaine Ambrose, owner of Mill Park Publishing, who agreed with this vision. In fact, she had been on the Board of Directors of WCA years ago and wholeheartedly supported this goal. Today, I’m proud to say that Elaine donated a generous check for $1,000 to the WCA on behalf of Mill Park Publishing and my book.

Makes me proud to be an author!

 

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Letting the universe work for us

Have you ever had the amazing experience of everything falling into place, unexpectedly, just the way it was supposed to? When it happens, we are filled with gratefulness. Because we never know when we’ll receive these gifts of grace and that’s why they are such a wonder.

Often when good things happen – we land that new job, an unexpected check comes in the mail, we hear from an old friend we were just thinking about — we attribute it to luck or chance.  But I believe these are not random accidents. There is a rhyme and reason to the way the universe unfolds, and when we get out of the way long enough to experience this process, opportunities await. 

It was a surreal moment, hard to describe, but something like walking into a play with the scenes already written, and all I needed to do was step into my role.

Paying attention

My father and I used to talk a lot about writing. We’d sit and hash out story ideas, and talk about how we were going to write the Great American Novel, perhaps together. A few years ago,as we tossed around some thoughts he said, “You should try to arrange an interview with George Kennedy, and talk to him about what his life is like now.”

He was referring, of course, to the Academy Award winning actor George Kennedy, one of the most well known American actors. He and his wife moved to the Boise area about a decade ago, and my father’s thought was, “What’s an Oscar winning actor doing living in Boise, Idaho? What are his memories?” Continue Reading…

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What crazy things did your mom used to say? Submit it for a book

“If you swallow your gum your butt cheeks will stick together.” ~ A mom in Boise, Idaho

I am putting together my second book of “momisms,” to be published in early 2013. Momisms are the weird, scary, inspirational, nonsensical things that mothers tell their children as they are growing up.

Just because grandma farts at the table doesn’t mean you can too.

Where do they get this stuff? I mean, nearly every mother throughout time has told their child to wear clean underwear in case they get in an accident and have to go to the hospital.

Of course, mothers learn it from their mothers, who learned it from their moms and on and on. The way-back origins are still a mystery, however.

“You’re running away? I’ll help you pack.”

Many momisms, such as the clean underwear saying, play on fear, shame and embarrassment to get kids to behave and follow rules. Consider other things young girls were told: “If you sit on a boys lap you could get pregnant,” and “Eat your vegetables, they’ll make your boobies grow.” Continue Reading…

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Rescuing your dreams from the “place that never was”

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I recently read a delightful book called “The Traveler’s Gift,”by Andy Andrews. It is about David Ponder, a former executive in a Fortune 500 company who now works a part-time minimum wage job and struggles to support his family. His child is sick and he can’t afford her medical care. He is at his lowest low, not knowing what to do, when one night his car skids on an icy road and he doesn’t even care if he survives.

But, this is just the beginning. For the rest of the story he finds himself traveling back in time, meeting leaders and heroes at crucial moments in their lives and learning their personal secrets for success. There is some wise philosophy here from the likes of Abraham Lincoln as he prepares the Gettysburg Address, Anne Frank as she hides in an attic, Christopher Columbus as he faced months at sea and a mutiny, and others.

If you are afraid of criticism you will die doing nothing. ~ The Traveler’s Gift

But, while each of David’s experiences are  insightful, I was most intrigued by his last stop on this adventure when he found himself in an immense warehouse of infinite proportions. The space went on and on, with no walls or ceiling, and as far as he could see there were shelves filled with stuff. Electrical equipment, lumber, wires, and machines; photographs, papers, files, mattresses, and bicycles.

Imagine walking into a place such as this, with millions or billions of items that could have educated, cured and benefited society but that never happened because someone  quit.

There were drugs and wheelchairs, automobiles and space ships; machines that cured blindness, inventions that made cars and airplanes collision-proof, vaccines for cancer. Every item imaginable  – and others that have yet to be imagined – was stacked in this infinite space. Continue Reading…

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