Have you stayed too long at your job?

“Job security is gone. The driving force of a career must come from the individual.” ~ Homa Bahrami, UC Berkeley, Haas School of Business

I will never forget the time I left a job I truly loved to accept another one that paid me a bit more money. By the time I finally quit that second job two years later, I was literally crying every day on my way to work.

I learned a few lessons that year: First, there is more to life than chasing money. Second, making decisions based solely on income will not make me happy. Third, at the two year mark – and probably even at the 6 month mark — I had completely overstayed my time at a job that paid me far more in dread and anxiety than money.

In the months before I quit, I remember thinking, “If today was my last day on this earth, why am I wasting it in such misery?’

A few years ago, a smart, professional and hard-working friend of mine went through a very torturous period at her job. At first, she noticed her formerly friendly boss was acting cool to her. Soon, she wasn’t getting invited to the usual meetings. Then, her boss started changing the deadlines for her assignments without notice, causing her to have to work overtime or plead with her boss for extensions. Finally, when my friend missed a deadline that had arbitrarily been changed twice, her boss placed her on unpaid administrative leave. 

As beaten down and fragile as she felt, she returned to her job after her leave and continued working for many more months until finally her boss presented her with a letter of dismissal. Clearly, she had overstayed the life of that job.

“Leaving your job should be strategic and properly timed,” wrote workplace expert Lynn Taylor in her May 2011 column in Psychology Today. Certainly if the job is worth salvaging, Taylor suggests we try to find a solution to our workplace issues. But, she also goes on to list 10 signals that it may be time to leave a job. So, for those of you who would rather poke your eye out with a sharpened number 2 pencil than go to work, here are a few of Taylor’s reasons to consider packing your boxes. You can find the complete list at “10 Signs It’s Time To Quit Your Job.”

1. Your skills are being underutilized. Management doesn’t acknowledge that you have more to offer than what you’ve been contributing for a significant amount of time….

2. You’re not following your passion. If you’re not doing what you love, you will never tap your true potential. It will just continue to be “a job,” and eventually each day will seem more of a grind…

3. The boss keeps behaving badly. Note story above.

4. You aren’t being heard. You can’t seem to: get time with the “powers that be”; get approvals; or get acknowledgment for great work; and over time, projects are no longer coming your way. Essentially you are being ignored out of a job….

5. The job is making you sick. Instead of jumping out of bed first thing raring to go to work, you feel immobile….

Allow me to please add a few more from my own personal experience:

• Boredom with the work – There’s no challenge and you become a clock watcher. Your mind wanders to everything except work.
• Ch…Ch…Ch…Changes, and not in the good way – Your good boss leaves the company or, perhaps, brings on an assistant who gets layered in above you on the corporate ladder. You begin to lose access to the boss, and eventually get moved out of the decision-making loop. This has been referred to as “death by a thousand cuts,” where these subtle changes can lead to complete loss of your status over time. Also known in HR-speak as a “reorganization.”
• Bullying, harassment, violence, etc — I wrote about this in my expose, “When Bullies Rule the Boardroom.” You can also learn more about workplace bullying at  Bully Online or Workplace Bullying Institute.
• You stay because you don’t think you can succeed elsewhere – You begin to believe that your success depends on your environment. You are insecure about changing jobs and starting over at a new place with no “track record.”
• You are always angry or bitching – You know that isn’t your real personality. Where did the real you go, you know, that delightful, easy-going, happy-go-lucky team-player? She got buried under layers of resentment, anxiety and fear. Unfortunately, the perpetual “cranky pants” employee risks being snubbed by co-workers and branded by bosses as trouble with a capital “T”.

Today’s screwy economy is keeping workers nailed down to bad jobs and bad bosses longer than their mental and physical health might be able to tolerate. Frankly, we are risking our health for the sake of perceived security (when in fact, nothing is truly guaranteed secure).

I know, sometimes we must suck it up and hang on as long as possible for our family, for the bills, for the college tuition, for the retirement. If that’s the case, there is no shame. But as millions have learned the hard way, hanging on just so you can be vested, promoted, get a raise, or retire with full benefits doesn’t always pay off. Because, there is nothing to stop that bad boss from letting you go. And, unfortunately, if they let you go, it will be on their terms and not yours.

The answer is to keep growing, keep learning, keep your mind and heart open to new opportunities and adventures if and when they present themselves. You never know what new life is out there waiting.

If you’ve been let go, reorganized out, laid off, downsized or simply quit from a job and discovered a new life  and new horizons beyond job loss, I’d appreciate it if you would share it here.

As always, thanks for visiting Murphy Writes.